Makes you wonder why Tor doesn't replicate this and send the nodes ghost traffic, poison pills, block the IPs, etc.

Last I heard, there was basically one guy handling all reports of malicious exit nodes, and I couldn't even get him to do anything about the ones very obviously intercepting traffic to Bitcoin wallets and injecting code that stole people's money

People are communicating with bitcoin wallets without end-to-end encryption?

Sounds strenuous on an already slow network..

There is automated tooling out there that is used to detect misbehaving exits, like ExitMap: https://gitweb.torproject.org/user/phw/exitmap.git/