I fundamentally do not agree with you. My sons were raised with real agency and genuine respect from the get go. They did not cave to bullying by adults, even as children. When away from me in public school, they inferred that they were entitled to enforce the standards I had set at home and they were not inclined to take shit off anyone.
This is not an argument you will "win" with me.
Suffice it to say that I acknowledge that I am fortunate to have had latitude and insight that many parents do not have. I try like hell to not blame other parents when they fail and, instead, to empower them to do better. But my children are grown, I know the results of my handiwork and I basically am a kickass parent.
We should probably just end this discussion here. No one ever wants to believe that any parent can meet the standard I consistently set for myself as a parent.
No one has a hard time believing you are a good parent. And I doubt anyone really cares much, as we've gone far beyond the point of providing a personal anecdote to help with arguing a point, and instead we're at the point of almost bragging.
The point is:
You argued people get deemed responsible for things entirely outside their control, and as an example you pointed out parents are expected to pay for something their kids broke.
The first person to responded pointed out that you're usually not deemed accountable for things entirely outside your control, and in the case of a kid breaking something, you're expected to pay because you have a large amount of control over your kids habits, and you certainly have a large amount of control over your kids whereabouts, so them throwing a stone to break a window is something you could have avoided.
And no one deems you responsible you for things that you couldn't truly control about your kid. As an example, if your kid hits someone with a medicine ball after their gym teacher instructs them to use them in a slightly dangerous way, no one would have you pay the other kid's hospital bill.
I am not trying to brag. I am trying to communicate.
In insurance and legal settings, you are not responsible for "acts of God." Obviously, no one can control everything. But trying to figure out where to draw that line separates the wheat from the chaff, the ordinary businesses from the good ones.
Parenting is where I have substantial experience. And it gets all kinds of push back. It is a subtle form of sexism: My experiences do not count because they are mom experiences. It is kind of like the use of the dismissive term "mommy bloggers." I never hear the term "daddy bloggers."
Einstein said something once like "Talented people solve problems. Geniuses prevent them." A healthy no excuses culture is one where the emphasis is on preventing them. I did that as a parent.
But feel free to give me yet one more BS excuse as to why my point of view and examples are somehow invalid, as if that is clever and nothing I have ever heard before.
I fundamentally do not agree with you. My sons were raised with real agency and genuine respect from the get go. They did not cave to bullying by adults, even as children. When away from me in public school, they inferred that they were entitled to enforce the standards I had set at home and they were not inclined to take shit off anyone.
This is not an argument you will "win" with me.
Suffice it to say that I acknowledge that I am fortunate to have had latitude and insight that many parents do not have. I try like hell to not blame other parents when they fail and, instead, to empower them to do better. But my children are grown, I know the results of my handiwork and I basically am a kickass parent.
We should probably just end this discussion here. No one ever wants to believe that any parent can meet the standard I consistently set for myself as a parent.