you would be extremely hard pressed to fit that amount of logic (and code) into that small of a package. and to operate intelligently, as you suggest, it needs a CPU clock, not available to it from where it would sit. And it would need to do signal analysis in real time, with no power and no clock.
Honestly, I'm too ignorant to judge the rest, I just think you weren't accounting for (1) you don't need a clock signal for fancy logic and (2) you can fit a lot of logic in a cubic mm. The other points may rule this out, I don't know. Note that the async CPUs I've read about tend to be lower power than clocked ones.
it's not possible.