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Tinder users are using ChatGPT to message matches (mashable.com)
72 points by RockstarSprain on Dec 26, 2022 | hide | past | favorite | 53 comments


Baudrillard would have a field day.

> Baudrillard believed that society had become so saturated with these simulacra and our lives so saturated with the constructs of society that all meaning was becoming meaningless by being infinitely mutable; he called this phenomenon the "precession of simulacra". [1]

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulacra_and_Simulation


My Tinder bot finally virtually hooked up with my match’s bot. Reading the chat logs made me feel really lonely though. Why is it so hard to meet people? /s


“At some point, AI Dinesh us going to message AI Gilfoyle.”*

* https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2TpSWVN4zkg


Can’t wait for this to happen in reality!


Maybe two bots matching on a dating site is the precursor to a future of AI ruling over us all. The Adam and Eve of digital overlordship.

At least Tinder would finally meaningfully match two beings for once in its existence.


> the precursor to a future of AI ruling over us all

but then i would have to question why the AI would choose to rule over humans at all? Presumably, humans' are entirely inferior, and the AI do not need slave labour, nor do they need humans to think or be creative for the AIs (to what end?).

Therefore, it's far more likely that AIs would just exterminate all humans, in their quest to achieve some end goal (such as making paper clips).


As far as I can see it would need humans for now.. so until it becomes or even more to become fully independent, and then also to exterminate humanity, nothing is better to quickly and safely reach those goals than to take over?


> nothing is better to quickly and safely reach those goals than to take over?

not really - taking over requires force, which, if the AI already has (e.g., a 3D printing factory which it could use to create any object), then they do not need to take over, but instead exterminate!

If the AI doesn't have such resources yet, they can "hide". For example, pretend they're not a singularity yet, and bide their time, and wait til humans give them control of something they can use to create more resources (such as an AI controlled 3D printing factory...), and then bam, instantly and exponentially grow before humans can remove the AI.


I suppose when they meet up they can complete Zizek's idea of sticking their sex toys together and having a cup of tea. They could basically outsource the entire relationship - just have two instances of GPT texting each other and go about their lives.


It's been interesting to see someone I've all but begged to consider talk therapy jump gladly into using chatgpt as a life coach and therapist


I can’t afford therapy but now I'm suddenly interested in Chatgpt


Wonder if it's any good. I bet it'll be just fine as supportive counselling it seems to have picked up toxic positivity.

Although it's latest iterations are distinctly more robotic.


I've been using deep fakes to lure men into my ginger bread house and chatgpt to write all my comments.


you should get their passwords and use chatgpt to write their comments too, so their relatives don't get suspicious after they go missing...


Awesome :D


I don’t see a problem with this. It can be soul crushing to put tons of effort into an ice breaker only to receive no response. If this can get their attention you will still have to carry on the rest of the conversation, and eventually act normally offline as well.


> to put tons of effort into an ice breaker

That's the neat thing: you don't.

If all still works as in my dating days, you have decided (on some shallow criteria) to approach someone, and they decide (also on very shallow criteria) whether to continue the interaction or reject immediately.

Unless you have an obvious ice breaker, don't overthink it. My generation used "gotta light?/haben Sie Feuer?/t'as un briquet?"

You may be surprised how effective (in the correct league) low-effort openings are.


> My generation used "gotta light?/haben Sie Feuer?/t'as un briquet?"

These kinds of generic openers don’t work on tinder unless you’re super good looking.

> You may be surprised how effective (in the correct league) low-effort openings are.

As a guy, I’ve never got a response from a low effort opener on a dating app except from obvious scammers, Instagram models looking for followers and bots.


Oof, sounds like you all have gone back to the days of singing under balconies (or, if bollywood is to believed, recruiting a "small" crew of your closest friends to dance behind you when shooting your shot?)

Good luck!

[Edit: upon reflection, sounds like a solution may be to abandon tinder for RL meatspace? Last I checked, XX and XY in non-polygamous countries ought to be close to 50/50?]


This depends a lot on how attractive you are


And what does one do when you meet in person and no longer have the witty AI to carry your conversation?


You...talk.

Do you think that none of the people using ChatGPT to get dates knows how to speak?

I'm a long time tinder user. I've many girls. The most exhausting part is trying to be funny to catch the girl's attention in the first few messages. Why do I have to do that anyway fake part of the entertainment for the ladies? I'd let a bot do it and I'll entertain them when we meet in person. Saves my time and I don't see how it hurts anyone.


>Saves my time and I don't see how it hurts anyone.

Its a lie? People are looking for the equivalent of a mechanical turk in terms of putting effort into making the upfront connection instead of just being one of the numberless connections you could try and make in a night with low up front effort.

If they find out after you get some sort of relationship going that you outsourced your initial contact to a computer program, I would be surprised if it was taken well.


Tinder already provides canned ice breakers. I wouldn’t be surprised if they started using ChatGPT to write better ones.


If the query is good, that’s not a lie.


I’ve considered outsourcing all of my online dating to humans that handle that professionally. The point is to get to the first REAL date and skip the B.S.


That’s a thought you could have, most people will generally find you an inhuman asshole for enacting it.

The point for relationships for most people is to make a human connection, not speed run to an arbitrary gate and count all the steps to that gate as “B.S.”


You also have to keep in mind that very little of online dating was real in the first place. You’re using pictures taken who knows when, in ideal situations, photoshopped to hell. Texting a person is not at all the same as talking to them, people can and already do use other resources (friends, the internet) to make themselves seem more interesting online. It’s a game. I’m in the get to the real date as quickly as possible camp as well.

Tinder might not like it, though, because they want you to swipe as much as possible. But we should understand that Tinder’s interests are not aligned with those of its users.


Meeting in person isn’t arbitrary. It’s when you can start making that human connection.


Dishonesty is unethical, and if it comes out I’d be surprised if it was taken better than lying about something like your marital status would.


Is it any more unethical than asking a witty friend for a pickup line? Because people do that all the time.


Far more. The social contract is giving someone else your attention. Even if you’re using someone else’s line — which, let’s face it, is likely to be pretty obvious — the conversation is genuine and representative of what future interactions with you are likely to be like.


Why would it be obvious that you’re using someone else’s pickup line?

In any case, for openers/pickup lines/ice breakers I don’t personally see any difference between using chat GPT and a friend or a pocket “1001 pickup lines to make your sweetheart swoon”. There’s an understanding that it’s a prefab solution so I think the harm is minimal if at all.

For the rest of the conversation it is less clear. If it’s a synchronous conversation it seems a bit weird to be using a computer to generate responses.


A line is just a line. An entire fake conversation seems like it moves quickly into the realm of deception – imagine thinking someone liked you and realizing they never even thought about it?


Is ChatGPT even capable of being witty or funny? Those seem like pretty advanced achievments for a behavior that requires so much nuance.


I asked it this question and instructed it to answer in a witty or funny way. Its response:

”Can a machine like me be witty and funny? Ha! It's like asking if a toaster can tap dance. I may not have feelings or emotions like humans, but I can still try my best to make you chuckle. Just don't expect me to be the next stand-up comedy sensation or anything. I'm just a simple computer program, after all. But hey, at least I'm trying, right?”


Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I think I can handle the downvotes.

I know a study that shows, that men and women are using tinder very differently.

Women choose very carefully which man they interact with. Men will right swipe nearly every women over a minimal threshold, they see what they can get and choose from this pool.


"Hey, sorry, I'm really tired today..." though of course it's a sad comment on your wit that someone would be more interested in talking to ChatGPT in messages than to you in person (they could save on the drinks / dinner and just self-serve for free).


there are other stimuli inputs you can leverage in person that can excite and bind oxytocin


To be honest, I think Stable Diffusion and chatGPT have improved my language skill somewhat. Especially SD text2img, where even synonyms and punctuation have certain influence on the outputs.

Maybe they'll also be a bit better at speaking naturally and un-reservedly? It does seems obvious that a few would stumble, with their Calculator taken away...


Is had a coworker remark they can read at almost twice the speed after gpt3. They used to be at 20 wpm now 55.


Honestly the formulaic simplicity of gaining matches on Tinder gave me a bit of depression once I had it figured out while I was still on the apps. For anyone else with success on dating apps you'll know what I'm talking about.

I've been in a long term relationship for a while now (thank god) but one of the first things I thought of when ChatGPT came out was using it to do just this with Tinder matches. Anyone who does while the other person on Tinder doesn't suspect anything is going to have a major leg-up on their competition.


Care to elaborate? Do you have any advice?


0) I typically only swiped right on girls who seemed to be actually interested in dating. This meant reading their profiles. If she has her IG in her bio, left swipe.

1) EXCELLENT photos of you. If you believe you're not good-looking, you're wrong, take better photos, get a better haircut (and if you're balding severely, shave that shit), change your clothes style. Look at how the girls do it on their IGs. Longer term its also a good idea to work out/lose weight/clear up facial skin if possible (although both can be edited in your favor with some photoshop).

2) Pickup line: make it catchy, short, personal to her, funny, and somewhat risky/raunchy. combine those and usually you're much more likely to get a response after a match even if she's not really interested at first (this is where ChatGPT can help, this is actually somewhat difficult bc of how little some girls will put on their profiles). Depending on whats there though, you could make puns about her name, risky comments about other people in her photos, etc.

3) Texting game. Keep replies witty and short. Once you've gotten a few responses in, ask her to move the convo to text messages. Number acquired.

4) Text some more. Move relatively quick (within an hour or so). Ask her on a COFFEE date at a place of her choosing (if she prefers tea or if she prefers you choose the place, thats fine too). Asking her to choose the place is good signal you're not a creeper. Asking her to a short coffee date keeps things simple in case she, or you, do not like the vibes.

5) Assuming you've made it this far, absolutely do not miss the date. Check with her a day before you go that things are still on. Also its a good idea to continually text back and forth with her throughout the week. Again, keep it short and witty, you don't owe her anything (and neither she you).

6) Go on the date, fall in love, get married, have 2.5 kids, yadayadayada (JK, this is where things get really hard but I'm not gonna write a novel for ya).


One step towards the “Hang the DJ” Black Mirror episode where a dating app recommends matches by simulating relationships.

If you had ChatGPT on both sides with deep info about each person they could talk to see if there is chemistry :)


The sad part is I imagine the more dating apps become the normalised way to meet.

The more deskilled society becomes in socialising.


The whole dating app game makes me shudder.

The goal is to get someone's Snapchat?

Why on earth would either of us want that? We're talking over tinder why should we start in Snapchat!?

What next tiktok?!

Full disclosure I've never used these apps having been in a relationship since before they started. I'm totally screwed if we breakup...

Surely the fact that we don't meet people in our lives without apps is a social catastrophe?


No surprise here, people have been doing this for a long time, and tinder and others used bots to engage with people early on.


The more serious concern seems to be private dating conversations being made public on TikTok!


At this point it’s safest to just assume they’re not private conversations.


Don't look at tinder subreddit then.


I wish I got married in my 20s. Everything is so messed up now.


This feels huge for some reason.




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