An alternative read on your idea is more of an elitist view of how we spend our free time. You’re basically judging the quality of what people choose to do.
I’m allowed to just exist and be happy with it. Perhaps I don’t need a hobby to keep me happy. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is watch Netflix with my family. Who are you to judge?
It really has nothing to do with the low quality of dating apps, that can be blamed squarely on Match.com’s monopolistic anti-competitive tactics.
Unless you are Jesus or Buddha, there are things that will very likely make you unhappy.
e.g: eating a lot of crappy food and spending a lot of time watching tv shows are one of them. It diminishes your health, put your dopamine system in shamble and bring no meaning in your life. It's very rare people are happy in those conditions.
Again there is nothing wrong about enjoying those activities and indulging in them. The point is it's unlikely you can fill your life with it and end up satisfied.
Based on my experiences when I visited the USA, with sidewalks in most of the states I visited suddenly stopping for no apparent reason forcing me to re-trace my steps and take a different route, or with many road crossings feeling so dangerous that I was seriously tempted to take a taxi even for really small distances[0]? There's plenty of places where the city designers make this unnecessarily hard.
One of the reasons I chose Berlin over San Francisco when I was deciding how to show the ultimate lawful middle finger to UK politics, was that I like walking.
[0] it's only the 0.4 miles from the The Cupertino Hotel to 1 Infinite Loop, but ten lanes on the North De Anza Boulevard and 2/3 on the on/off ramps connecting it with the Junipero Serra Freeway is terrifying.
I was staying in the Holiday Inn Express at Dubai airport the other day, which is less than 400m from the entrance to Terminal 3 at that same airport (and the metro station located there), making it a convenient hotel for my few days in Dubai.
What I hadn't noticed was that there is a major road inbetween, and that the walking time, according to Google Maps, is 92 minutes, covering a distance of 6.8km! So yeah, I took a taxi...
I used to not have a tv by choice and go on walks all the time as I had nothing to do. I stopped doing it as it became weird and lonely past a certain point and age. There’s nothing quite like seeing people out in the world with purpose while shambling without even a real destination. Turns out humans are pretty good at avoiding unpleasant experiences and watch tv for a reason.
You began feeling uncomfortable going on a walk by yourself after a certain age?
I don't think that's a common experience. I'm in my 30's and love wandering aimlessly though a city or somewhere in nature. I doubt that will change as I continue to age.
TBH I'm mostly doing it to try and get back to shape. Too fat to run without stressig my joints, so walking/hiking is the next best part.
can feel a bit lonely seeing other groups pass by. But you see your app tell you you got 4 miles in and burned 800 calories and you realize that you're progressing.
There's nothing wrong with watching TV/Netflix in your free time. Its a free country. But, don't be surprised if alot of prospective dates to find that boring or milquetoast. Dating profiles seem to be written by ChatGPT, for both men and women, and the most common included "hobby" is generally, Netflix. Imo, it screams: low effort.
Another type of profile some might find boring are those where the person’s hobbies are those that are the area’s “defaults”, like a profile for someone living in the Pacific Northwest mentioning that they hike… nothing wrong with that as a hobby, but when almost everybody in the area on the app has that as their hobby too it’s not going to help you stand out.
Hiking, Netflix, concerts, and brunch probably covers 95% of young adults in the PNW. Personally, defining your personality by watching TV is objectively boring and lazy. Dating is alot about marketing yourself, which I'm sure dating coaches would agree on, so yeah, I'd encourage people to aim higher and at least make stuff up that sounds more interesting.
Not impossible, you gotta spice it up. Don't just say "I love Barbie" say "I love Barbie for its loud, brash feminist message and absolutely masterful set props to portray the Barbie world". There, you still watch Netflix but you show you think deeply about the media around you and get out your political philosophy without making it sound like you only think in politics.
You should probably pick up other hobbies, but a lot of everything in life is all about presentation. You kinda need to do the opposite for tech a lot of the time unless you are specifically going for a tech oriented partner; don't describe your job as you would to a co-worker ("I'm a software engineer who works on the pathfinding algorithms in Google maps"), but give a quick elevator pitch ("I work at Google and I help figure out your destination"... and sure insert some zinger if you're clever).
Ideally you need at least two hobbies: one that you and your Tinder match have in common, so you can do it together, and the other one that is weird and unique so you can impress them, and sustain their interest :-D
With the way dating apps work, you’ve gotta try to make an impression because they make users feel embarrassed for choice. If your profile is basically the same as everybody else’s you’re probably gonna get swiped left unless you’ve got outstanding looks and/or eye-catching photos.
Just put yourself in the shoes of someone who might see your profile. If I’m a bearded guy who enjoys hiking, Netflix, and IPAs what reason do they have to swipe right on me compared to the other 50 bearded guys who also enjoy hiking, Netflix, and IPAs?
Watching TV barely qualifies as a hobby at all, it's something you passively do in a pure-consumption mode. A common hobby that involves you going through a creative process is much better than a pure-consumption 'hobby'. Even "I like to discuss the TV I watch" would be a huge improvement.
Society structures itself in such a way to achieve equilibrium in all things, eventually. There is an abundance of "free time" so things, hobbies, culture, politics, sex, everything has slowly waddled into a zone that seeks to fully-utilize all that free time in whichever way it can.
>I’m allowed to just exist and be happy with it. Perhaps I don’t need a hobby to keep me happy. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is watch Netflix with my family. Who are you to judge?
See heres the difference, "your family". your goal with Netflix in that sentence isn't necessarily to just enjoy your favorite shows, it's to bond together with people you very likely spent years taking care of.
Now, as for me with no hobbies as a single overweight dude in the suburbs who's only possible redeeming factor is making decent money... Do you think I have a chance of achieving such a family if I took on your quote (minus the "with my family")? Even if Tinder wasn't enshittified I'd sure have a hard time carrying a conversation with any potential dates. Yes, they will judge me, hard. I'm not physically attractive enough to ignore being interesting (and not that financially attractive either. I'm not buying a partner 4 star meals every day levels of rich).
(I am mostly underselling myself here btw... mostly. I do have hobbies past Netflix thankfully).
I’m allowed to just exist and be happy with it. Perhaps I don’t need a hobby to keep me happy. Perhaps my favorite thing to do is watch Netflix with my family. Who are you to judge?
It really has nothing to do with the low quality of dating apps, that can be blamed squarely on Match.com’s monopolistic anti-competitive tactics.